My First Recital

Well, believe it or not but at my ripe old age and after almost (but not quite) two years of guitar lessons, I went to and participated in my first recital last Sunday (May 18, 2008) at the considerable urging of my teacher. It was, to say the least, an interesting event.

When I arrived with Leah in tow, I found that there were about 40 people or so milling about in the music store. That included students and parents and teachers. One of the other guitar teachers was upon my arrival actively involved in playing some songs with one of his more capable students and so we enjoyed listening to them finish up that guitar teacher's session. The recital was organized such that each guitar teacher would present all of his students participating in the recital before they moved onto the next teacher and his/her pupils.

Well, I would have to admit that while standing there looking at that rather "largish" crowd and watching everyone sitting there so very attentively listening and with all of them focused upon the single student that was performing at the moment, I got a royal case of the "willies"! I could feel the yellow streak creeping down my spine and my chill bumps standing up to greet it! As you probably know, I'm not a real public kind of guy. Yes, I can stand up in front of the entire Church of some 100+ people some times and teach a lesson, preach a sermon or even lead the singing but this is somehow very different and much (MUCH) more intimidating! To say I was nervous would have been understatement because I very briefly gave full thought to fleeing out the door guitar, case, and daughter in hand. I am proud to say however, that I overcame my fright-or-flight reaction and was able to go take my place in the seats for the students once "my" teacher's class was to begin their recitals.

So, I took a seat and watched as about a dozen young kids (less than the age of adolescence) went forward and performed their recital pieces on the guitar seemingly fearlessly! It just didn't seem to bother them at all! Gradually the age of each performing student increased working its way of course inevitably toward me!

I felt rather alone in that I was a bundle of nerves at this point which I reassured myself was completely silly. There was nothing to be afraid of in doing this and so I should buck up and face the music (or perform the music). Well, that pep talk lasted until about the last internal mental syllable and then I was once again looking for a new exit from the building (or plotting to create one as I crashed through the wall when they called my name)!

I guess I took some solace in the fact that I was not alone in my sea of nerves. When some of the older students came forward to do their pieces, it was rather noticeable that they too were feeling the full stress and nerves of performing in so intimate a venue with so many focused eyes upon them; people they didn’t know! I saw several shaky hands and even arms and heard several shaky voices. So, at least I knew I would not be the only one to make a nervous Nelly out of myself.

My time finally arrived and my teacher called my name (ugh!). I went forward, set up my little portable foot-rest (needed to obtain proper finger positioning on the fret board) and proceeded to make a couple of light-hearted comments about my being the oldest student there and how I am proof that my teacher is very patient. I hoped to break some of the ice off my fingers by mentally taking a short vacation during those comments but to my surprise and horror, as I began my piece, I found that BOTH of my hands were shaking - perhaps not visibly, but certainly enough to annoy me and cause problems with the performance of my solo piece called “Romance”. It is a beautiful song and I can more or less play it well in my home in my own little room but sitting before about 40 people, it was a whole different matter. I had difficulty landing chords due to my shaky hands and even my picking hand (right) betrayed me at times (though it at least is most faithful to me at home – I’m not so sure about that left hand!....).

So, I figured I could live with my nervousness and might actually survive the experience until during the bridge section of the piece I completely mentally spaced a chord. It was one with which I was well acquainted - a difficult stretch but still one I can do and even do well at times. Well, not that afternoon. I completely botched it. Then I did what no performing guitar player is supposed to do - I tried to fix it! A few days later when I showed up for my lesson, I was talking to my friend Paul. He's an older fellow who works in the store - about my age or perhaps a bit older and a guitar wizard! He told me he was there during my recital and I sounded really good and it was the first time he had heard Romance on an electric guitar but he liked it. He said I only made one small mistake overall that he noticed in the bridge section of the piece - I tried to fix it. He said "never try to fix it - just play on and half the people won't even know you had trouble with the chord". Good advice and I knew that but I just couldn't prevent myself from fixing it. To this moment I don't know WHY I chose to fix it - I just did. So, fix it I did and it took about 3-4 tries to "fix" it. I should have abandoned it. I think with some gentle editing I can remove the "fix" from the movie Leah took of my performance! Har har!

Anyway, I did finish the piece and people were polite and clapped. Probably the highlight of my first painful recital was a young fellow about 16 or so who was sitting beside me after I came back to my seat who leaned over and said "very nice tone". That was flattering to me because he is a good guitarist and a student of my teacher as well. So, at least that positive comment came out of the recital and of course my friend Paul's uplifting comments later in the week helped. My own teacher was very encouraging too and said I did well for a first recital.

So, did I do as well as I would have liked - No way! However, do I think I learned something from the experience - sure! So, maybe next time it won't be quite as nervous an ordeal though I fully expect some nerves to be involved of course. I just hope I can stop my shaky hands from messing me up and focus on the task at hand – playing the piece well!

My friend Paul says "for a recital piece, build your confidence by picking something that is _easy_ for you. That way you can breeze through it even if you are nervous and you will have more confidence to take on more difficult pieces in the future". That's good advice. Paul used to teach people guitar as well (perhaps he still does) so I appreciated his advice and of course my own teacher's positive comments later in the week.

Well, I wasn't happy with my performance but I understand now this is just part of the process and I wasn't as affected overall by the nerves as were some other people so I guess I'm ready for the next time! I still love learning the guitar, playing it and enjoying music. So, I'll probably stammer on with it until the next time I find my knees knocking together so loud the audience thinks I have my own percussion section for my recital piece!

Love to all and enjoy the music! - JR